Donkey Kong theories going beyond headcanons.

Monday, 18 June 2012


People often wonder why I waste my time writing for blogs like this while I could be doing so much more productive things instead. Well, here's the catch; I'm fairly fluttery and lofty-headed, unlike most people my age. My worst offenses of this case are that I sometimes run around with a red cape, pretending I am K. Rool, or hang upside-down in a bunch of monkey bars and say I'm Diddy when I am in company that doesn't mind. Alas, thinking about too much complicated things at once tends to overheat my brain, and since I cannot change my size to suit my mood I am left with intricate stories, theories, and ideas for a game about an ape with a tie.

I do this because it only needs a certain amount of realism for something to be believable. And with that little bit of realism, I try to look for logical explanations. And instead of going for something more 'serious', like Zelda, I go for a franchise that is under-appreciated and to some people, a tad ridiculous at most.

So, one thing that's required for things like this is an open mind. Sure, Donkey Kong Country is just a game, mostly made with the intention to make money, like so many objects made by man are. But instead of seeing it as just a game... Sure, DK Isle, the Greater Kongo Bongo Isle Chain, Kremlings, Kongs, and Bananus goldus flutterii (common banana birds) don't exist for real. But let's keep an open mind and pretend they are, capiche? It's a lot easier to think of these things behind all this craziness.

And I just really love the game's art - meaning; music, rendering, sound design, backgrounds, etc - and its characters, so yeah...

Wednesday, 13 June 2012


I've been enthralled by Donkey Kong games since I was five years old.

Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble! was the first game in the series I played. Around that time, the TV show aired as well and Donkey Kong 64 got released. Needless to say, it was a good time to be a fan. Even if I couldn't speak English to save my hide.

Later on I began drifting more towards Mario games and whenever DK showed up I dismissed him as 'die aap' (freely translated; "that ape") and never really cared much about him.

But Donkey Kong Country Returns, released in 2010, re-ignited my love for these games and its characters. I began hoarding the games and merchandise by the proverbial truckload and was now calling myself a fantard.

Fantardism isn't exactly something to be proud of, I'm aware of this. Disregarding that, my fandom escalated into fan art drawing, and eventually into fan fiction and theories. Theories? Yup. Incorrectly referred to as fantalk in the past, it's something usually called headcanons. But instead of just saying DK has a morbid fear of dinosaurs, I try to think up logical explanations for the things that happen in the games, or why they did happen. Or how they could happen. As someone who recently started paying attention to biology, I found out it could be perfectly liable to apply it to a game I love. I mean, c'mon. People write things like this all the time about things like Zelda, Mario, even My Little Pony, of all things - so thinking up why DK Isle came to be isn't that unusual at all.

Instead of discussing individual characters and game-related thingamabobs like I mostly do in BeJungle'd!, in this blog I will be discussing species, regions, culture, and evolution.

I hope it will be worth your while.

-- Renée 'Ribbedebie' Vianen